Everyone needs someone to call on, real or imagined.
The trick I think is to pick the person or team that suits you to a T. You don’t need them every day or even every week but, there are those times…Personally, I forget all about them when I am doing well and it is smooth sailing.
Howard and Andy are my team. I call on them when things seem to go south.
A little background on these guys might help you if you decide on a team.
Long ago, I felt the need for some support that wasn’t a phone call or text away and that didn’t judge based on my dance moves or lack thereof. At the same time, I didn’t want a fairy godmother. A fairy in a tutu with a wand seemed kind of lame and rather Disneyish. Definitely not au courant. Although au courant sounds lame ..I digress.
I was looking for a sturdy shoulder to cry on but not too sturdy. A team that I could focus on when the going got tough while at the same time I wouldn’t throw them over for the next latest team or forget their name(s) in the heat of the moment. At the same time, I didn’t want to give them room and board at my house.
Howard came from the author Anne Lamott. In one of her books she related thinking that the Lord’s Prayer included Howard as in ‘Howard be thy name’.
Andy has a similar religious background. ‘Andy he walked with me Andy talked with me’ Andy came from the mind of the iconic Forrest Gump
You get the idea. Everyone needs someone to call on and I figured double the help was even better.
I envision Howard and Andy (never Howie and Andrew -why I am not sure) as being slightly out of sync with the in crowd. Out of sync, left of centre are definite bonus points for them to be my guys.
They are outsiders enough that they would be okay with artisanal beer but, not so outside that they become inside hipsters. No black ray bans and skinny cuffed jeans or tattoos with deep eastern meanings. H and A know what’s going on and can cut to the chase.
These guys are not above sending me the WTF message for my own expressions of ego or someone else’s but, they are excellent big brother types who encourage me to not let the buggers get me down. Poor bastards, I only call them out of the ether after feeling down, depressed , anxiety (insert suffering emotions).
At those times other people might call out to; God, Buddha, Allah, a whole series of Saints and Angels .
I rely on channeling good old Howard and Andy.
My reliance isn’t a perfect scenario.
While I have read and re-read Gandhi’s take on Non-Violence . Just when the concept seems to be within my sometimes limited grasp , then some yahoo performs character assassination on me, (I know letting them get to me is the 1st mis-step) or stops cold on the sidewalk while I am in my urban ninja walk mode causing a pedestrian crash – I lose it.
Having Howard and Andy hasn’t yet helped me in those type of moments.
We could go into the Buddhist non-attachment here which would be helpful but I am still working on that part of my spiritual psyche.
Back to the boys. It would be great if H and A would storm my offenders brain, causing him or her to dye their hair old lady fuchsia pink , or if they could direct a 150 lb Mastiff to park itself in the middle of said offenders sidewalk to disrupt any sidewalk access (pooping on their front lawn would be an added bonus)
But no, the dudes come to me at night while I toss and turn, wondering if I should just turn on the light or toss and turn for another hour. We don’t just have washing machine action with the bed sheets we also have bad brain who uses this time to debate life’s ills and the many ways I have been wronged or done wrong.
Where my personal super heroes do succeed is that they give me a point of venting, inner guidance, a hint of my true worth . I might be so bold as to say that they are my twin beacons of hope.
Howard and Andy understand me, they listen to me and they are rocks to me despite my sometimes foul mouth, bad humour and cynical disposition. Not only are they not stellar angelic traits but the timing of bad behaviour may lead to job dismissal or worst friend dismissal.
I call out to them to smite my foes (sounds awesome doesn’t it) and their availability and lack thereof reminds me to – smite my own foes.
Everyone needs a team like Howard and Andy.